


Quitting

by Shea



Series: RCDA [2]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Childhood Trauma, Cussing, Fights, M/M, References to Depression, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:12:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shea/pseuds/Shea
Summary: When Kanda and Lavi's relationship gets thrown into turmoil, the whole dance academy is turned upside as they scramble to get ready for the recital. Allen decides to help his friends... but is it deeper than just an average teenage breakup?





	1. Part One

Allen laughed as he walked with Lavi and Krory back to the school building. Krory had joined them a few weeks after Allen had and specialized in ballroom dancing. Ever since Cross came back, Allen had also, of course, been forced to take that. But at least he didn’t make him quit hip hop as well.

“You’re such a liar, Lavi.” Allen shook his head. “There’s no way Kanda would have done that.”

“That’s what I thought! But, lo and behold, he was! In the middle of his bedroom!”

“You probably shouldn’t have walked in his bedroom without permission.” Krory said thoughtfully.

Lavi waved a hand. “His room is practically my room now. I think I sleep there more often than I do my own room.”

“Why-“ Allen started and then shook his head. “Nope. Nevermind. I don’t wanna know.”

“What? It’s nothing _bad!_ Although Yuu’s ballet does allow his body to bend in ways I-“

“Gross! Stop! Stop talking right now!” Allen yelled and covered his ears, making a face. Maybe Lavi was happy dating Kanda, but Allen and Kanda still didn’t get along on the best of days. And he _certainly_ didn’t want to think about Kanda like _that._

As they entered the academy lobby, Allen noticed the wide open floor was covered in large canvases and sounds of hammering could be heard not too far.

“Ah, they must be getting ready for the recital.” Lavi mused aloud.

“Recital?” Allen blinked as he and Krory both looked at Lavi.

“Yeah. We have two every year; one in the fall, and one in the spring. And then throughout the year we have competitions.”

“Oh, right. Miss Nine was talking to Kanda and Lenalee about competition.” Allen nodded.

“Yeah.” Lavi grinned. “We have one coming up in a few weeks. That’s why those two have been working even harder and longer.” He motioned to the ballet room where through the window they could see Kanda and Lenalee dancing away.

“Same as always…” Allen sighed. “He’s in there before I get here, he’s in there after I leave.”

Lavi laughed lightly. “Yeah, we usually don’t leave until seven or eight. Nine around competition time.”

“Wow.” Allen blinked.

“I know.” Lavi sighed dramatically. “He’s lucky I’m such a good boyfriend to wait for him.” He shook his head a little bit.

Daisya swaggered into the lobby in his usual over-the-top get-up and nodded at them. “Hey, you guys took your sweet ass time getting here.”

“Did you miss us~?” Lavi grinned and wrapped around his neck.

“Yeah, more like without you around, Sokalo was harping on _me_ like hell.” Daisya rolled his eyes.

Lavi laughed. “Sorry, sorry. Well, I’m here now. Want to go do our routines?”

“We should.” Daisya nodded once. “But I’m getting a drink, first. I had to come with Yuu this morning.”

“Damn.” Lavi nodded a little. “Yeah, I’ll meet you in there. Gotta stretch and shit.” He let Daisya go before waving to Allen and Krory.

“Walker!” A loud voice boomed over the lobby and Allen winced. “I want your ass in here in five minutes!”

Allen sighed and glared a little at his guardian standing in the doorway of his classroom. He had a glass of some kind of alcohol (probably wine) in his hand, of course… and was staring right at Allen. With a defeated sigh, Allen glanced up at Krory. “Well… I suppose we should get started.”

<><><><><><><> 

Allen panted with exertion as he plopped down on the couch in the lobby. Nobody else was hanging out there, but he assumed everyone was just busy practicing and getting their routines down. That is, until Kanda left the hip hop room, looking beyond pissed off. Allen blinked and got up to intercept him.

“Kanda, what’s wrong?” He asked, following the male towards the restrooms.

“None of your damn business, Moyashi.” Kanda hissed, slamming the bathroom door in his face.

Allen huffed lightly and stood right outside. “BaKanda, tell me why you’re so mad. And what were you doing in the hip hop room? Shouldn’t you be practicing for the recital?”

He didn’t get a verbal answer, but he could hear Kanda furiously ripping through the paper towels. There was a mumbled curse, but he still continued to ignore Allen. Allen huffed and left him alone to go find Lavi. He wasn’t in the hip hop room, neither was Daisya he noticed as he passed the male.

“Daisya,” Allen caught his sleeve, effectively stopping him. “Have you seen Lavi?”

“He left a couple minutes ago.” Daisya jerked a thumb towards the door. “He seemed kinda mad, though. Probably cause Yuu came in and yelled at him.”

“Wait, Kanda went and yelled at him?”

Daisya nodded a little. “Yeah. I didn’t listen in, but he seemed pretty mad.” He paused thoughtfully. “Well, more than usual, I guess.”

“Do you think they’re in a fight?”

Daisya shrugged. “They fight like every other day. Well, Kanda does, anyway… I think Lavi usually just goes with it.”

“But you said Lavi was mad.”

“Yeah…” Daisya sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I dunno. Not really our business, if you ask me. It’ll probably blow over by tomorrow, sprout. Don’t worry about it.”

Daisya grinned and went on his merry way again. Allen glanced between the bathroom door and the front entrance. “I hope so…” Despite his constant feuds with Kanda, Allen didn’t want to see the pair’s relationship in turmoil. Lavi seemed so _happy_ talking about Kanda earlier, and even if he didn’t exactly say or show it, Allen knew Kanda had to be happy too.

Maybe he was just blowing it out of proportion though, and it really was just nothing. He supposed there was nothing for it but to wait and see.

<><><><><><><> 

“What do you mean ‘Kanda’s not dancing’?” Allen could hear Instructor Nine’s loud voice demand as he walked in the front doors.

Daisya and Instructor Tiedoll both stood before her, looking like they wanted to be _anywhere_ but under her piercing, inquisitive stare.

“He said he wasn’t coming back.” Daisya explained, sighing a little. “Said he was done with it.”

“Why?” Nine asked, crossing her arms. Allen found himself wondering the same. Kanda, refusing to dance? Was this the beginning of the apocalypse?

“Without him, half the recital will fall apart.” Lenalee sighed from beside Allen.

“Where’s Lavi?” Allen asked, a tugging feeling in his gut compelling him to talk to the guy.

Lenalee jerked a thumb towards the lounge. “He’s not speaking to anybody, though. I’m surprised he came at all…” She frowned and looked at Allen with worry. “Do you think they’re…” She trailed off, but Allen knew what she was getting at.

“I’m not sure… I’ll go talk to Lavi.”

Allen headed towards the lounge at a brisk pace. The faster this was resolved, the better. But he wasn’t prepared to see Lavi look so… _down._ Lavi was usually the happy, energetic one that got everyone pumped up for dance. Now, he looked like he needed to be pumped up. He slouched on the couch, his lone visible eyes scanning his phone screen though it didn’t look like he was _actually_ reading anything. His headband was absent, his red locks falling in his face. Instead of his dance clothes, he wore a pair of loose (and dirty) jeans and a bomber jacket.

“Lavi…” Allen sighed as he sat down beside him. “What happened?”

The redhead shrugged a shoulder lethargically. “Dunno…”

“Did something happen between you and Kanda? Is that why he’s not dancing, and you’re like… this?”

Lavi just grunted once. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

Allen frowned and took the other male’s phone out of his limp hand. Lavi didn’t seem to notice, or care. “Lavi, please… Not only are we worried about you, but we need the both of you for the recital…”

Lavi sighed a depressing, deep sigh and finally looked at Allen, though his face was void of all expression or energy. “You want to know what happened?” He asked and then sat up. “Yuu got mad at me, _again._ For something I didn’t even _do_ this time.”

“What happened?”

Lavi waved a hand half-heartedly. “Someone fucked with the settings on his phone or some shit.” He sighed and then shook his head. “But I am so _sick_ of Yuu blaming me for literally everything! He has two brothers- and, well… Marie wouldn’t really do anything… But Daisya is just as annoying as I am! And even when I explain that I didn’t do it, Yuu doesn’t even _believe_ me. Like, what’s the point in dating someone if they can’t even trust you, you know?” Lavi let out a long breath and then slumped over once again. “So I broke it off…”

“So… you two did break up, then.” Allen nodded a little. He was going to kill Kanda for being such an idiot.

“I don’t know what to do, Allen…” Lavi sighed. “I love him… But I’m sick of that kind of shit.”

“I understand, Lavi.” Allen rested a hand on his upper back, patting gently. “Have you tried actually talking to him yet?”

Lavi scoffed. “You know how Yuu is… Stubborn and prideful. Wouldn’t even let me get a word in…”

“I can talk to him then. If you want, that is.”

Lavi shrugged a shoulder. “You can try…” He looked over at Allen again. “Just… get him to dance again, at least. That’s been his whole life, and I… don’t want to be reason he stops.”

Allen nodded again. “I can do that. Or, try, at least. What about you? Are you going to dance?”

Lavi nodded a little. “Yeah, eventually… Maybe…”

“Let me go talk to Kanda. I’ll be back.”

Lavi nodded again, waving a tiny bit as Allen got up to leave. Lenalee sent him an inquisitive look, and he flashed her a comforting smile. Digging out his phone, he sent a quick text to ‘BaKanda’: **I’m coming over.** Without room for argument, he was going to give Kanda piece of his mind.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allen has a little chat with Kanda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the "Alma" thing is vague as fuck right now- but that's just because I plan on writing the full story for it later.

Allen was pleased when he found the back door unlocked. He hoped Kanda wouldn’t assume he was an intruder and attack him… though he wasn’t sure if Kanda _wouldn’t_ attack regardless. He made sure to knock twice before entering, just to be sure.

“Kanda…?” Allen called out into the seemingly empty home. But Daisya had confirmed that Kanda stayed home today, and there wasn’t really any other place he’d go except to Lavi’s and… well…

He walked through the dining room, peeking into the kitchen, and found the living room just as vacant as the other two. Allen had to wonder if Tiedoll cleaned the house and if so, he was impressed. Living with three boys must’ve gotten very… messy, particularly with a kid like Daisya. But the place was spic and span. Of course, Kanda didn’t seem like the messy type either, so that probably helped.

Allen started to climb the stairs when he heard movement and then something went sailing past his head, crashing in the aforementioned clean living room.

“Oi, BaKanda! What, are you trying to kill me!?” Allen yelled up as he continued going up.

“You’re intruding! I’ll call the fucking police!” He heard Kanda’s gruff voice yell back!

“No you won’t.” He muttered, rolling his eyes. He made it to the top and glared at the taller male leaning against the wall. “What is your problem?”

“You are, currently.” Kanda huffed and left to his room. He tried to slam his door shut, but Allen interjected with his foot.

“Kanda, talk to me. Lavi’s a depressed mess, you’re not dancing…. What’s going on? Is this really over your phone?”

Kanda tch’d and leaned heavily against the door. “It’s none of your damn business.”

“It is if the entire recital is messed up because of you quitting!”

When he didn’t get an answer, he pushed with a great force on the door. It burst open, and Kanda was thrown on the floor. The situation might’ve been funny, if Kanda didn’t seem… a mess. If Allen didn’t know any better, he’d say Kanda was on the verge of some kind of meltdown.

“Kanda,” He tried again, his voice soft. “Are you upset because Lavi broke up with you?”

“No.” Kanda bit out, turning away from Allen. “It’s too complicated for you.”

“Is it about Alma?”

Despite all the dances Allen had seen Kanda do, he’d never seen him move so fast as he spun around and pushed Allen back. “Who the fuck told you?” He hissed.

“Lavi did, a while back.” Allen replied calmly. “He’s still worried about you, y’know… Even if he’s mad at you, he wants you to keep dancing. _Alma_ wants you to keep dancing.”

“Don’t fucking talk about Alma like you knew him.” Kanda hissed again before letting Allen go and plopping down on the bed.

Allen knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he and Kanda were very similar in that Allen had acted the same after Mana died, to an extent. He could tell that Kanda had locked those thoughts and memories away somewhere deep in his brain, and hadn’t thought about them again… until now. He must’ve still been processing it, to a certain degree. While having your best, and only, friend die suddenly as children must’ve been traumatizing, Allen couldn’t quite make out what this had to do with his relationship ending.

“It’s not just Alma. Or Lavi.” Kanda said so quietly, Allen almost didn’t hear him. He didn’t dare move, lest Kanda decide to stop talking after all. “They’re both idiots… but they’re the only idiots to…” He trailed off, gritting his teeth. Allen understood.

“You’re the biggest idiot, you know.” Allen said. Kanda glared up at him, offended. “Lavi didn’t mess with your phone. And, you know, blaming your boyfriend for _everything_ that goes awry is probably not the best boost.”

“He’s-“

“But he hasn’t given up on you.” Allen continued. “So don’t act like everyone that has ever cared about you is suddenly gone. Because you still have your father and brothers, too. And Lavi.”

Kanda narrowed his eyes at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You associate Lavi with Alma, because they’re similar. So when Lavi up and left because he was mad, you were reminded of how you felt when Alma died.” Allen rolled his eyes a little. “Drama queen.”

“Oi.”

“But Lavi isn’t _gone._ He still cares. He still wants to see you dance, doing the thing you like _most._ The thing you excel at. Hell, he still wants to _date_ you. Just knock it off with the blaming him for everything, yeah?”

Kanda didn’t answer him, only stared at his shoes. Allen sighed lightly. “Look, you make Lavi _really_ happy, believe it or not. I don’t know how, or _why,_ but you do. And he _loves_ you. You’re not the only one suffering here. And you know- this would all be over if you just _apologize!_ ”

“I still don’t see how any of this is your business.” Kanda muttered. Allen groaned.

“Fine. Don’t want to listen to me? Fine. But don’t whine and complain to me when Lavi _moves on_ from your depressive ass.” Allen sighed. “Just… go dance again. The school _needs_ you to.”

Kanda tch’d, but otherwise didn’t make a noise. Allen rolled his eyes once again. “You’re the real idiot, you know.” He huffed before he turned to leave again.

<><><><><><><> 

Allen rubbed the back of his neck as he walked back into the dance academy. Lenalee was sitting by the front desk conversing with Reever and looking worried. Of course she was… Kanda was her partner. And he refused to dance now. Allen felt awful, like this was somehow his fault.

“Allen,” Lenalee took notice of him and turned to him. “Did you talk to him?”

“I did.” Allen nodded once. “I don’t know if I helped any though…”

“I just hope he’s okay… That they’re both okay. Lavi’s dancing right now, so he at least got some of his energy again. But Kanda…” Lenalee glanced at the ballet room and then back at Allen. “It has to do with Alma too, doesn’t it?”

Allen nodded again. “Yeah. He seemed pretty upset about it. He was pretty quiet, at least.”

“I don’t blame Lavi for being mad. But Kanda’s also probably not in a good place, either…” Lenalee frowned.

“It’ll be fine, Lenalee.” Allen assured her, resting a hand on her shoulder. “I think right now Kanda just needs to figure out his feelings, know that there’s a difference between what happened with Alma and with Lavi. Besides,” His expression softened as he smiled a little. “Kanda loves dancing. There’s no way he’d quit _permanently_ over a breakup.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right…” Lenalee nodded a little and then straightened up. “Well, we’d better keep things going, so he won’t come back to a big mess!”

<><><><><><><> 

“Hey, Lavi,” Allen called out as he left Cross’ classroom. “Do you mind giving me a ride home?”

“Not at all, ‘Sprout.” Lavi grinned lightly, spinning his keys around on his finger.

Allen smiled as he hoisted his dance bag higher up on his shoulder. “You seem a lot happier than you were yesterday.” He pointed out.

Lavi nodded a little as he led the way out to the parking lot. “Yeah… I guess I’ve just come to terms with it.” He pursed his lips a little. “I’ve been thinking though… I should go talk to him, shouldn’t I?”

Allen shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. It’s your relationship-“

“ _Was._ ” Lavi corrected sullenly.

“You know him better than anyone, I think.” Allen shrugged again. “I don’t think it’d _hurt_ to try and talk to him. But don’t try to force anything, y’know?”

Lavi nodded and unlocked his car, falling into the driver’s seat. “I know, I know.” He laughed lightly. “You sound a lot wiser than you look.”

Allen pouted at him once he was in the passenger’s seat. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Lavi grinned and waved a hand. “But, seriously… thanks for, y’know, being here and trying to help and all.”

Allen waved a hand. “That’s what friends are for.”

Lavi grinned as he started driving off the lot. “Yeah, well, if this all works out I’ll owe you for like, a whole year.”

“Try like _ten._ ” Allen countered. “I had to go talk to _Kanda._ Alone. In his _room._ ”

“Okay, okay.” Lavi laughed. “I’ll buy you dinner next Friday. How’s that?”

“Makes it all worthwhile~”


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavi has a talk with Kanda

Lavi sighed to himself, shaking out his nerves before he knocked on the front door. It was Sunday, so no one was at the academy. Meaning Kanda’s whole family was probably home… He just prayed Tiedoll wouldn’t kill him for breaking up with Kanda.

As it was, Daisya answered the door and Lavi sighed again in slight relief. _He_ understood at least. “Hey, man. Is Yuu home?”

“Where else would he be?” Daisya asked, stepping aside to let Lavi in. “You’re lucky Tiedoll’s not home, or he’d kill you on sight.”

“I don’t know who’s worse; him or Komui.” Lavi said and then paused. “Wait, nevermind, Yes I do.”

Daisya snorted and motioned upstairs. “He’s in his room. Don’t make it worse- I don’t know if I can handle any more depressing dinners.”

“Got it.” Lavi nodded once and ascended the stairs two at a time. He realized, belatedly, that he had no idea what he was going to say. But, well, he’d always been better going off the cuff anyway. At least this way it wouldn’t sound practiced, or forced.

He knocked on the familiar door once before opening it a crack. “Yuu? It’s me…” He said quietly, but loud enough to be heard. He wasn’t hit in the face with a shoe, so he considered that a good sign and stepped fully into the room.

He’d known Kanda since they were kids. Nine years old, in fact. He’d pretty much always been a little anti-social, brooding, quick-to-anger, and, of course, in ballet. Lavi had seen him cry three times, total, in the ten years he’d known him. But he never looked like _this._

He was a cocoon on the bed, wrapped up in his covers. His hair was down and all over the place, obviously not brushed. Lavi thought for a moment that he might’ve been asleep, but then Kanda moved to glare at him lightly. His glare had lost all venom and was just an empty shell.

“Oh, Yuu…” He sighed softly, kneeling beside him.

Kanda made a noise. “What do you want?” He muttered.

“I wanted to talk to you. To see… if you were okay…”

“I’m fine.”

Lavi scoffed lightly. “Obviously.” He couldn’t help himself and gently ran his fingers through his bangs. Kanda didn’t move away. “I’m sorry, Yuu. I should’ve considered how you would’ve-“

“Don’t.” Kanda flinched just lightly and Lavi frowned again. “I said I’m fine. I’m just… tired.”

Lavi nodded a little bit, though he still didn’t believe him. “You’ve never really talked about Alma with me.” He said anyway. “I mean, you told me he died but that was _it_. How old were you?”

Kanda was quiet for a long moment, and Lavi thought he wasn’t going to answer at all. “Eight.” He said finally, barely above a whisper. “We were eight…”

Under different circumstances, Lavi might’ve thrown a giddy mini-party at getting Kanda to open up like this. But he was obviously in a not-very-good place, and if what Allen said was true, he probably really _needed_ to get it off his chest. Eleven years of holding this in couldn’t have been good, for anyone…

“And it happened in front of you?” Lavi asked gently, his fingers still raking through Kanda’s hair.

Kanda’s eyes slid shut, half in relaxation and half in fatigue. He nodded just a little bit. “At his house…”

“Yeah.” Lavi sighed again. “I’m sorry, Yuu. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

Kanda opened his eyes slightly and he just stared at Lavi for a few moments. He didn’t look particularly mad, or upset, or even stand-offish. He seemed, dare Lavi think, vulnerable. Which was something he had never seen on Kanda before. He was slightly glad Kanda was comfortable enough around Lavi to let himself be vulnerable, but he also never wanted to see this expression on him again. Because while he looked vulnerable, he also and mostly looked… heartbroken.

“Why are you here?” Kanda asked again, forcing his voice to sound bitter.

“I wanted to talk to you. See if you were okay.” Lavi shrugged a little.

“I’m fine.” He said once again and Lavi shook his head, a wry smile on his face.

“You’re lying.”

Before Kanda could respond, Lavi kicked off his shoes and climbed up into the bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around him, his fingers still combing through his hair. Kanda didn’t shy away from the affection.

“I still love you, you know.” Lavi said after a quiet moment. “Just because we broke up, doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you. I was worried… Daisya and Tiedoll said you’d quit dancing and I- I felt _awful._ I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you quit because of me.”

“It wasn’t just you.” Kanda mumbled. “Or Alma, mind you. You didn’t… do anything, that day.”

Lavi knew Kanda well enough to know this would be as close as he would get to apologizing. And that was completely okay with him. He grinned and gave Kanda a squeeze, ignoring the other’s mumbled complains. “As long as you promise not to yell at me like, _every_ day.”

“Fine.” Kanda agreed, nodding a little bit.

Lavi grinned once again and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “Will you dance again, then? The whole RCDA is running in scrambles trying to work around your absence.”

Kanda grunted once, and Lavi knew that’d be his “answer”. Which was yes. He smoothed Kanda’s hair down and pretended not to notice when Kanda quickly drifted off to sleep, comforted and relaxed for once.

<><><><><><><> 

When Kanda arrived to the school early the following morning with Lavi in tow, he didn’t miss all the looks and glances he got from some of the others. At least the beansprout wasn’t there, yet.

“Kanda, you’re back!” Johnny from costume design exclaimed.

“Looks like we won’t have to change everything around… right?” Reever asked.

Lavi grinned and wrapped an arm around Kanda’s shoulders. “He’s ba~ack!”

Kanda tch’d and made his way to Klaud’s room without another word. Lavi grinned still as he watched him go, and couldn’t help but feel a little giddy that, for the most part, everything was back to _normal._ He knew Kanda was still struggling with his feelings regarding Alma, but that was something they had time now to figure out. And Lavi would be there with and for him the whole time.

He heard chatter behind him and turned to see Lenalee, Allen, Krory, and Daisya arrive together. Lavi immediately ran up to practically cling to Allen’s smaller frame, nearly knocking them both over. “I don’t know what exactly you said to Yuu, but I think you helped a lot, sprout~”

“Then… you two are back on?” Lenalee asked hopefully.

“They’d better be.” Daisya muttered, flicking Lavi’s earlobe. “My bedroom is right next to Yuu’s.”

Lavi laughed sheepishly but nodded all the same. “Yeah. And Yuu’s in there practicing right now as we speak.”

“Good!” Allen smiled. “I don’t know if I _really_ helped, but you’re welcome nonetheless, Lavi. And you still owe me dinner.”

“Of course, of course.” Lavi grinned. “Anything you want!”

“So if I said I wanted some Jeryy’s…”

“Eh!? Do you _really_ have to choose the most expensive place??”

Allen shrugged casually, but Lavi noticed the _evil_ in his eyes. “If you’re relationship with Kanda doesn’t mean _that_ much…”

“Fine! Fine…” Lavi muttered and let his friend go. “You’re evil, Allen…”

“You’re still welcome, Lavi.” Allen smiled and pat his head, having to reach up on his tip toes to do so.

They all conversed as they walked together to the lounge. Lavi stole a look into the ballet room as they passed, lingering for just a moment. Maybe it was only three days, but seeing Kanda actually dance again was a very pleasant, very warm feeling. Lavi didn’t want it to go away ever again.


End file.
